Post by cassius alvaro on Mar 2, 2011 0:27:42 GMT -7
[/font][/i]" harley backs away, her lips folding as they do when she tries her best not to laugh. another knock, "daddy..[/font][/i]" i shake my head at her, lipping that this one is on her. it takes her a moment to respond, she looks at me, obviously not having the slightest clue what to say. "allie, what's up?[/font][/i]" she asks, the look on her face telling me she knows that wasn't her brightest of responses. "mommy, where's daddy?[/font][/i]" alessia questions over the water, and through the door. "baby, we're saving water, one second.[/font][/i]"everything is happening so fast, a mile a minute. i'm in the shower, i turn around, harley's there behind me. bare in the flesh, the water running down her body. before i know it, hands are roaming, lips fevering, but this moment ends two minutes too soon. there's a knock at the door, "mommy!
you know when you have a dream you don't want to wake up from? and you lay there in bed, eyes clenched trying to go back to it. that's where i am right now. i want to be asleep, where harley is within arms reach, and alessia is on the other side of the door, waiting for us to come out so harley can make her famous german pancakes.
but harley's not here, and neither is alessia.
as soon as i begin to miss harley, i remember where she is. i glance at the alarm clock to my left, 2:37am. where the fuck is she? probably wasted, with a thousand different guys eyes on her, wanting her, longing for her, but not in the way that i am. they don't even know her, they know nothing other than her chest that is probably too fucking exposed for my liking right now. they don't know that sometimes when she sleeps on her back she begins to choke, or how when she's uncomfortable she tucks her hair behind her ear and stares at the floor beneath her, or how she looks most beautiful at six in the morning when alessia crawls into bed with us and wakes her up, without an ounce of make up on.
yet i know these things, and she's out there with them.
i almost trace myself back to the dream before the vibration of my phone on the nightstand shakes me from it. it's a number i don't know, assuming it's harley, i pick it up immediately. but on the other line is a much sweeter, more naive voice. "hi daddy,[/font][/i]" she says."what are you doing up right now baby?[/font][/i]" i ask her, trying my best to sound like she didn't just wake me. "i'm afraid, i don't want to sleep here.[/font][/i]" i tell her to put sadie's mom on the phone, and she tells me that allie has been up for two hours saying she wants to go home. without any reluctance, i'm out the door and on the way to get her. while i'm not happy that she was awake and afraid for the past two hours, i haven't been so happy to see her in so long. i text harley on the way, telling her that her daughter is afraid and wanted me to pick her up, but as she doesn't respond within minutes i'm back where i was hours earlier in the night, pissed off at her, not understanding her ways. she's a mother, shouldn't a mother have her phone on her at all hours of the night in case something is going on with their child? what if she had fell, what if she had another one of those seizures. but fuck her, she can take her night off as a parent. as it was what she wanted so fucking badly.
i leave the keys in the ignition as i race the steps to the doorstep, and i knock lightly, in case the rest of the house is sleeping. and as soon as sadie's mom opens the door, alessia's running up behind her, i kneel down and open my arms almost as simultaneously as she leaps into them. i wrap my arms tightly around her tiny frame, and i feel as though i've done something right as i feel her smile fold into my neck. i apologize quickly to sadie's mom, and we're out the door. her tiny hand wrapped around my fingers, we get back in the car. i don't usually let her sit in the passenger seat, harley's usually there, but tonight's an exception. she fiddles with the radio, before fiddling around and finding radio disney. i watch her from the corner of my eye, singing along to a whatever brother song. i smile for a second before i glance down at the phone in the cup holder, no response from harley yet. why am i even surprised? for a second i let my anger out, pushing the gas petal down as hard as i can before i remember my daughter is in the car, and i slow it down. i won't let her ruin this right now, even if the thought of what the fuck she's doing lingers in the back of my mind.
allie runs up the steps to our apartment, waiting patiently as i unlock the door. we walk in to silence, which seems to be abnormal in our house. there's always something going on, harley chatting on the phone, nick at night on the television, but now there's nothing. she walks around as i lock the door behind us, "where's mommy?[/font][/i]" i hear her ask, "her and auntie annie are having their own sleepover, looks like it's just me and you tonight![/font][/i]" i tell her as i find her in her room, already playing with the twenty stuffed animals on her bed. "i think it's way past your bed time..[/font][/i]" i tell her as i come to tuck her in, but she knows where this is leading. "can i sleep with you tonight?[/font][/i]" she looks up at me and asks, her eyes big and blue just like harley's her hair messy from an obvious night of play, how can i say no to that? "i......[/font][/i]" i begin to tell her as i shake my head, but as soon as that pout appears on her lips i can't bare to give her a fake no, "think that's a good idea,[/font][/i]" i tell her as i sweep her up from her bed and carry her into ours. laying her down before i turn on the television, cause i know she can't sleep in silence. and with that i lay by her side, pulling her in close, kissing her forehead goodnight. within a matter of moments she's asleep, as i lay here awake, dreading the day she's too old for this. the day that harley won't have a reason to stay. [/blockquote][/blockquote][/blockquote][/sup]
