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Post by romy alves on Mar 1, 2011 12:27:11 GMT -7
 i can feel his heartbeat in sync with my own, a soft murmur in the darkness, a comforting rhythmic notion that tells me our world is safe, for now. his tiny body is curled against mine, and the leg of his pajama has ridden up with the many twists and turns of an uncomfortable boy until he found my side. it is always like this when he finds me, but sleep never does, and i lay awake listening to his heart and his breath in fear. i imagine his dreams are adventures so grand that formidable disaster will never find him, yet i know they will, so i gaze at him as if my stare is the saving grace. but i know it not to be. in the darkness i reach for his face, to caress it, but he stirs and instinctively my hand has fallen upon the mattress once more. i fear if they come for him i will not get him back. i am not the one dressed in armor, wielding a sword and prepared for battle, no. once they take him, the boy will be lost to me, and only a mother's touch and embrace can alleviate the pain... the only thing that can bring him back to me, the only thing i do not possess.
he stirs again, and this time he has pushed his body from mine, but his warmth still lingers and a sigh escapes my lips. these moments with him make it difficult to not want children, to know this feeling every night. as my mind begins to fade, a ray of light lays across his face, and if i squint, i can make out the features of his father, and i smile. my friend. and now his child is my comfort. if there is one thing i am certain, if they ever took me, his hand guiding me would always bring me back. the monsters will never take us.
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