abagnale, matthew alexander

[matthew abagnale]

lex, gary hedlund, student
__________________________________

FULL NAME matthew alexander abagnale.
NICKNAMES matt.
CURRENT AGE twenty-one.
DATE OF BIRTH november 28.
HOMETOWN tel aviv, israel.
RELATIONSHIP STATUS engaged.

MOTHER marissa abagnale (née hughes), forty-five, interior designer.
FATHER ezra abagnale, fifty-one, bureaucrat.
SIBLINGS adrian ezra abagnale, twenty-eight; colton michael abagnale, twenty-six; holden jeremiah abagnale, twenty-one; anne olivia abagnale, twenty-one.
CHILDREN n/a.
PETS n/a.

REASON FOR BEING IN NEW YORK if i set foot in israel i'll be conscripted, so...

BEST KEPT SECRETS

1. my brothers drive me up the fucking wall.
2. i've been sleeping with my fiancee's sister.
3. i've tried really hard to stop, but fuck, she gets me every time.
4. if i could reverse the past four years, i'd do it in a heartbeat.
5. i tried to get out of conscription, but my application wasn't granted.

GROCERY LIST

1. filo pastry.
2. coffee beans.
3. spanish onions.
4. canelloni sheets.
5. red wine vinegar.

MOST RECENT PURCHASES

1. keg of coors.
2. fountain pen and ink refills.
3. large texas bbq pizza from dominos.
4. gillette fusion power stealth razor refills.
5. 'ethical issues and guidelines in psychology.'

---

INTERVIEW

"i know i shouldn't admit this, as a mother, but matthew has always been a low priority. it's less harsh than it sounds! what with annie being such a handful the other triplets were forced into insignificance, particularly when you consider they're part of a hoard of boys. matthew was particularly prone to playing a background role, not because we didn't love him - of course we loved them all equally, even annie! - but because his nature disposed him to background positions. he's an avid reader, always the best student of his siblings. he was the sort of child who had a new political cause every two weeks, and he'd go on and on about it for that amount of time, before he switched. at least he has passion."

marissa abagnale, forty-five

"matt's the cousin we always forget, though i mean that in the nicest way possible! his family are so hectic, and there are about a million guys all vying for attention. it doesn't make it any better that a, he's a triplet, or b, annie's also a triplet. annie's the real star of that family. being the girl always put her in the spotlight, then she went off the rails and ever since she's still been the talk of the family. matt's unnervingly stable by comparison. he's engaged, and he's off doing his degree in new york. everyone knows he'll ace it too, whenever he really wants something he puts 100% in and has a 100% success rate. he's a level-headed guy."

zachary hughes, cousin

"you know how people say they split amicably, and you assume they must be lying because that just isn't possible? a few years ago i would have agreed with you, but then i met matt. matt is just a really accepting guy. he can get worked up by things, he's not exactly mellow... but he's non-judgmental in a way i've never known anyone else to be. if he dislikes someone, you can bet your ass it'll be for a justifiable reason. he's got his quirks, matt. he's got this obsession with death, and he has been known to speak in quotes, which can get really fucking annoying. but he manages to look less pretentious than he should. even when he takes his typewriter to lectures."

zadie al-jabiri, twenty

"matthew is a clever, clever young man. he was one of those students that proved to be a problem not for the usual reasons, but the opposite. whilst many students had behavioral issues based on boredom and apathy, matthew was also boredom, but only because the material couldn't keep up with him. he was always prompt with his assignments and carried out copious extra reading. having said that, he was still immature. matthew believed he had all the right answers and would become frustrated if he felt that reason was not being paid proper dues, and when that boy was frustrated he would become insolent so quickly you'd hardly believe he was the same person. his negative behavior was due to his youth, however, and i would expect him to grow out of it as he gets older."

ellis abramsky, sixty-six

"mattmiester! matt and i are doing the same course, psychology, at nyu. it's good fucking times. hard as, but yeah, we roll with it. matt's like, israeli, and if you mention palestinian tensions... he goes apeshit, let's put it that way. he's a pretty opinionated guy. you wouldn't think so when you first speak to him, since he seems really mellow, you know? doesn't really go in for bitching, never complains about much. but when you touch on any of his sore topics, yeah, you better prepare yourself. he's been obsessed with capital punishment all the time i've known him, for example, and he's done so much studying around it that he puts the rest of us to shame. he's determined to have it outlawed globally, bless him! yeah, he's an ambitious guy. quietly, but still. smokes shitload of mary jane though, so it's easy enough to calm him down."

ludo donaldson, twenty-three

"matthew is the most fucking pretentious guy i've ever met. we were in the same class, and ugh.. he'd always finish ahead of everyone, then make it obvious how bored he was as everyone else caught up. and the fucking banter he had with the teacher was just sickening. he always thought he knew better, even when a fucking expert was explaining something to him! then there were his little activist causes, jesus, his fucking causes. every day it felt like there was something new for him to bitch about, and then he turned against his religion. at first it was god he decided was bullshit, then he started going on about how unjustified we were taking land from the palestinians. the guy's fucking jewish, his family are wealthy as fuck off this land! it's so easy for him to bitch, he's one of the most privileged people i know."

ricky donaldson, twenty-one

---

PERSONAL

but really, i am...

i'm being ironic. don't interrupt a man in the midst of being ironic, it's not polite.

and i live by...

"i hope the dogs don't bark tonight. i always think it's mine."

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