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Post by laszlo paige on Feb 12, 2011 13:35:30 GMT -7
amber, tom stu, resident
__________________________________
FULL NAME laszlo zachary paige.
NICKNAMES lasshole, las, zac, the pagemaster.
CURRENT AGE twenty-two.
DATE OF BIRTH august 14th, 1988.
HOMETOWN new york, new york, usa.
RELATIONSHIP STATUS single.
MOTHER cheryl paige (née tate), fifty, dermatologist.
FATHER jeremy paige, forty, private detective.
SIBLINGS cassidy andre paige, twenty; wilhelmina rose paige, seventeen.
CHILDREN n/a
PETS bullwinkle, one point five, hedgehog
REASON FOR BEING IN NEW YORK it's where i reside, nbd.
BEST KEPT SECRETS
1. i'm raising bullwinkle until he's meaty enough so i can eat him.
2. i really love womens socks.
3. there's no way i will ever watch 2 girls one cup. (not so secret)
4. i obsess over having my photo taken.
5. a nicolas cage movie made me cry, i won't tell which one.
GROCERY LIST
1. chocolate milk
2. rice krispies
3. deoderant
4. watermelon juice
5. carrot sticks for bullwinkle
MOST RECENT PURCHASES
1. socks, womens obviously.
2. coffee.
3. breath mints.
4. kinect for my xbox 360.
5. shares in general electric.
INTERVIEW
"lassie is precious although rude and mostly unnecessary. he really has no direction in his life and that worries me. i'm trying to get him to go to school but he loathes it and embraces a hobo lifestyle instead. he also talks about his hedgehog too often."
cheryl paige, fifty
"las really tries to be cool and it doesn't work out so well for him. i'm not sure why he's even existing right now, he's incredibly embarrassing. my mom blames my dad's immaturity for his behavior but i'm pretty sure it's just that she did drugs while she was pregnant."
cassidy paige, brother
"first off, his name is laszlo? if moses and jesus' tramp, mary (not his mom, his unrelated slut), had a child they'd name him laszlo. or eric, because they might have been unoriginal. i'm not sure of my bible, it's a million pages long.. like, size seven font, single space. we met on the streets, soooooo romantical. he knows lush, i know lush, we were both so luscious. we dated for a while after that, but then i got knocked up and he became a self absorbed asshole. probably because i was needy and fat, and constantly wanting this really-specific-impossible-to-find-tea. so we broke up, but still kept friends. and yep."
winnie osbourne, twenty-one
"this kid slept through my class the three times he took it but finally he passed his senior year and i hated him less after that."
georgia tayves, sixty-eight
"i'd have sex with las and i'm a lesbian."
winnie osbourne, twenty-one
"laszlo gave my girlfriend mono, asshole."
gregory hamill, twenty five
PERSONAL
but really, i am...
the coolest ever, don't let my name fool you. my mom came up with it and my dad didn't have the balls to stand up to her - since she's older and all - i'm embarrassed for him more than i am for myself though.
and i live by...
"It's type of bird, but it's wearing a hat. Not so much a hat. Something that's at the top of a coat and attached to the coat and covers the head, but is not a hat."
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