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Post by tomas martin on Mar 1, 2011 10:58:15 GMT -7
i am falling or gravity has shifted. either way, as i stride into the apartment - minuscule in its sizing but inexplicably grand in its importance - i idly wonder where she is. she being summer, the love of my life and soon to be mother of my child. fumbling hands struggle to find the light switch which i have come to remember as being on the opposite wall. however, i can't find it. i am growing frustrated, a sense of urgency in my movements as i stumble in the dark. according to the menacing red number above the stove - even as i am, i can just barely make out what they read - it is half past three. i know i should feel guilty for arriving home at such an ungodly hour but on this high, nothing feels real. even the floorboards beneath my feet feel insubstantial, the keys clutched in my hand only made real by the pain that shoots through me as an edge digs particularly painfully into the flesh of my palm. i curse loudly, louder than i had intended, and suddenly, the lights have come on. i am left squinting, trying to make sense of what has happened.
it is by some miracle that as i trip over a pair of summer's heels, that i don't fall into the girl herself. she is leaning against the doorframe, her expression as transparent as the glass of the windows behind her. lucid but joyful, i envelope her into a hug, my arms snaking around her petite waist. despite the child she is bearing, she has retained her lithe frame. as i hold her locked in my embrace, my mind moving at roughly a mile a minute, i do not notice how unresponsive she is until she pulls away. she is frustrated, i can tell, but an abiding love lingers just beneath the annoyance. even in my intoxicated haze, i can tell something is the matter, although the possibility that it is me is miles away, unfeasible. watching in vague confusion as she retreats, i do the only thing i can and seize her hand. it is warm and it soothes my nerves when she does not immediately snatch it away. i follow her to our bed, pulling her into my side the moment i can.
the fierce beating of my heart had nothing on hers which i can feel through the gentle movements of her delicate shoulders. as her eyelids drop, shrouding her beautiful blue eyes, an impish smile lights up my face. only with her in my arms am i able to come down from my high peacefully, rather than in the typical train wreck fashion i have become so accustomed to. as my heartbeat slows, i fall asleep thinking one thing.
that summer is my salvation.
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